Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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