you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
