I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
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