she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
