Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
