But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
