Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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