I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
