I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
