Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
