I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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