Pappa wants mamma naked
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
