he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize