Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
