ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
