well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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