Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
