You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
