So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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