dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
he just fucked me for my cheese..
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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