The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
