Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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