Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Semen is not good for contacts.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
