LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I need a burrito and a hug.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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