Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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