i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
