Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
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