Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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