I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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