thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Sponge bath it is.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
