You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize