from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
His hands were made for my vagina.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
