i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Who put my cat in the fridge?
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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