the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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