Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
