Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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