I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
