I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
this hospital has no fireball
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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