these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize