Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
