it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
