Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize