he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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