ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
