First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I've blown a few things in my day
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
This is the high leading the old right now
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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