Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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