shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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