omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I need moral support for this bender
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
