Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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