He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
