He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
