She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
