i would punch a child for taco bell
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
