so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
