I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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