I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
