I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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