I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Randomize
