Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
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