Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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