THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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