Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
