i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
