we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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