everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
