Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
