i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
