went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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